Is there any need to have a new blog ?

I've been asking this question to myself from a long time and despite launching this new blog, I'm still undecided, unclear.

It's not that simple for me as it may seem to many others. I've been very fond of reading, writing and doing other things in Hindi and therefore I have a blog बात बोलेगी, हम भी बोलेंगे. But perhaps nowadays I find myself very uneasy and uncomfortable in writing in Hindi.

A duel has been going on in my mind over past so many years on which language should I use in my writings .. Hindi or English? There was a time when I used to hate people who used to write in English despite being master of Hindi. Perhaps I still hate them. I always find the arguements like now English has become the daily life language as absurd and treat it as an escapist arguement. And that's why I'm still undecided, unclear on this issue.

I've been and still I'm a very staunch supporter of Hindi and I would not give any arguements in favor of it (why.. when.. what types) because it's known to many and in this case I'm just like any other Hindiwallah.

However, the era of globalisation has made English an international language and now it's uniting not only India rather the world. At least, this is the take of supporters of English.

I'm not opposed to English as a language but I don't want to give it preference over our native language.

But it looks like I've also joined the club of "Escapists" - whom I've always hated. Over the years, English has taken over the place of Hindi and now most of the times, my brain thinks in English and if need be, translates it to Hindi. Earlier it was other way round.

So am I "escapist" / "opportunist" / or merely stating the facts of my life? I don't have answers.

However, I do know that due to this duel, I've been missing my writings (which got completely stopped despite several provocations). So I leave the question undecided and launch this blog, of course with some sense of guilty. Guilty towards many things because this is bound to change few fundamentals of my life .. because this is bound to brake few promises which I made to myself.

Perhaps I should laugh on myself .. बिल्कुल बेशर्मों की तरह क्योंकि आंखों में आज भी कुछ लाज बाकी है।